The Relationship is Done.
But You Aren't.
Break ups can be hard, even when they're mutual. Breaking up can result in unhealthy coping that, if not kept in check, and lead down a pretty dark road. But it doesn't have to be that way. It can also be an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. You can take back your power.
Numbing, whether through excessive use of technology and social media, drugs and alcohol, sex, sleep, food, etc, is an all too common method of avoiding true feelings and needs in the face of a break up. Blaming is another method. We may blame ourselves, others, or whatever external factors we can point our finger at to discharge our painful feelings of loss, but this is really a suboptimal and only temporary fix. In time, this blame will bury us in bitterness and cynicism. The more we deny our feelings by layering ourselves in the armor of apathy, anger, and blame, the stronger that pain grows.
With the right kind of support, the pain of a breakup can be directed towards empowerment and renewal. Although far from being a comfortable or pleasant experience, the self-reflection and relationship inventory process that often takes place after a break up can be highly rewarding. It can actually lead to improved self-esteem and confidence rather than a weakened sense of self.
From this process we may discover a more authentic version of ourselves and find ways to meet our needs that are healthier and more meaningful to us. We are then free to explore who were really want to be in our relationships, what kind of relationships we really want, and how to create these relationships.
Therapy can help you direct your energy towards healthier methods of coping, give you a supportive and safe space to explore and and express the complicated mess of feelings that loss often brings, and assist with building insight and perspective as you keep moving forward.
Ready to get started?