Rebel From BS Beliefs
Just because you think it doesn't make it not bullshit.
Here's the deal: Our beliefs must be changed in order to create any genuine change in our lives. Too often we operate under the impression that reality influences our beliefs, but there is equal, if not more, truth to the idea that our beliefs create reality. We have to rebel from what we have always thought in order to seek truth.
Here's the backstory in a nutshell: As children we created disempowering meaning about seemingly innocuous (and sometimes not so innocuous) events that occurred during our development. As a result, the underlying belief "I am not enough" formed and carried over into our adulthood. This process happened to most of us, even to those of us who feel we are relatively happy and successful people. So many, many, many of us struggle with self-esteem. This is partly because our culture has put such little value on the emotional, mental, and energetic aspects of our whole selves and instead has focused much more heavily on our physical needs and health. As kids, left to our own devices and without the information and tools to sort through our varied and sometimes complex thoughts and feelings, we quickly came to conclude that we were somehow broken, inferior, a problem, or otherwise unlovable and unworthy. We sought protection from the pain this conclusion brought us - we made promises to ourselves to be a certain way in order to prove ourselves, to receive acceptance and approval. These promises were made into agreements/rules in our mind about the "right" ways to behave, think, and feel - "VOWS," so to speak, that settled deeply into our unconscious. This then led to you getting caught up in whatever self-sabotaging patterns you find yourself stuck creating in your relationships and work today.
This is only scraping the surface of course, but a more in-depth examination of this process would take a novel (for which there are many already written!) and revising the affects of this process would take a months-to-lifelong commitment (aka therapy and/or personal development work). However, I want to share a simple exercise I often encourage my clients to take up as part of their transformation work, or in other words, as part of their rebellion from the daily grind that is keeping them stuck is suck-ville. You can do this exercise any time, but a simple way to start is do it every night before you go to bed.
An exercise to help you get there: Each night, reflect on your day and think of all the things you feel grateful for and all the things you loved about yourself. For gratitude, it could be for the sunshine on your face when you walked from your house to your car, for the guy who waved at you in his rearview mirror when you let him in your lane, or for the way it felt to take off your shoes when you got home from work... Point is, it could be anything. Your only job is to write down 1 thing; more is great, but 1 is all you need to get started. Then you think of all the things you loved about yourself that day. Could be for how you were able to recognize when you felt anger rising and chose kindness instead, for your great taste in music, or for speaking up and sharing a good idea at work. All you have to do is write down 1 thing you loved about yourself; more is great, but 1 is all you need.
As roll-your-eyes-cliché as this may sound, this is the truth: we each have a responsibility as adults to seek healing for our own inner child. If we want to see positive change our lives and break free from stagnancy, blame, shame, and anger then we must take action and revise our core-beliefs and vows. Our "meaning making machine" or the way we author our life-stories must be updated.
The simple exercise I suggest here can do more to help these efforts along than you may know. In as a little as a few weeks you may find your life changing, even with just this one effort you're making. You may find your inner rebel starts to feel a bit freer, giving you more energy to further the rebellion's cause - to seek truth, meaning, and purpose so you can live more fully and authentically.
If you want more rebellion, check out www.LiveRebelliously.com.