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When Holding It Together Costs Too Much

Therapy in Houston, Texas | Minneapolis & St. Paul, Minnesota | Denver, Colorado 

You’ve built a life around high standards—but there’s not much room for rest, self-trust, or softness. You pride yourself on being capable, composed, and responsible. But underneath? Your mind won’t shut off. The emotions get louder. The exhaustion sets in. 

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You might relate if you’ve been called “the responsible one,” “type A,” or a classic Enneagram 1—conscientious, ethical, organized, and perpetually hard on yourself. You’re constantly scanning for what needs fixing—inside yourself, in others, in life. You try hard—maybe too hard—to do things the right way, stay in control, and keep your emotions in check. You may look high-functioning on the outside, but inside you’re worn thin—tight with self-criticism, perfectionism, and a nervous system that doesn’t know how to exhale.

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Therapy can be a space to get curious about these patterns—not just “fix” them. A place to loosen the grip, reconnect with what actually matters to you, and live in alignment—not just in control.

​Ways This Might Show Up in Your Life:

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  • Overthinking and analyzing everything you do or say.

  • Difficulty relaxing or being spontaneous—productivity always wins.

  • Emotions held in tightly until they erupt or overwhelm you.

  • Fear of making mistakes or being seen as irresponsible.

  • Feeling like there’s always more to do, be, or improve.

  • Struggling to let go, delegate, or be okay with “good enough.”

  • Shame or frustration when you’re not living up to your own standards.

  • A constant sense that if you just tried harder, things would feel better.

  • Feeling emotionally disconnected even as you check all the boxes.

How Therapy Can Help:

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  • Understand the deeper fears and beliefs that keep you in overdrive.

  • Learn to tolerate uncertainty, messiness, and being “human.”

  • Release rigid inner rules without losing your values or integrity.

  • Practice new ways of relating to emotions—yours and others.’

  • Get clear on what actually matters to you, not just what’s expected.

  • Soften into self-trust, not just self-discipline.

  • Identify and work compassionately with parts that drive perfectionism and self-criticism.

  • Develop a more harmonious internal relationship between your protective parts and your core Self.

Canoes symbolizing support for mental health journey

There’s nothing wrong with being thoughtful, principled, or high-achieving. But you don’t have to be so hard on yourself to be worthy of rest, connection, or joy.

Therapy for your Unrelenting Inner Critic in Texas & Minnesota.

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