Rhythms of Resistance

There’s this model for grieving called the Dual Process Model, developed by Margaret Stroebe and Henk Schut. It was recently presented to me as a framework for engaging in activism, and this immediately clicked for me. First, because it makes intuitive sense. Second, because grief is so often the fuel beneath activism.

We act because we love. We act because something precious is being harmed. So the reminder that we can move with our grief, instead of trying to overpower it, feels grounding.

When we're witnessing injustice, violence, or collective harm, we may feel an enormous pressure to stay constantly engaged. To keep reading. To keep posting. To keep showing up and never look away. But the nervous system doesn't work that way.

The Dual Process Model tells us that healthy grieving requires oscillation between two states: loss & restoration. When applying to activism, it's between direct activism tasks & rest and ordinary daily life tasks. It's not permanent intensity or constant immersion - it's balancing active confrontation with restoration. When we apply that to activism, something important clicks.

There's the loss-oriented side.

This is the turning toward the pain and actively expressing emotion and reminiscing. This is where we engage directly with what is wrong, the loss, or the person who died.

In activism, that can look like...

• protesting,

• organizing,

• marching,

• calling representatives,

• donating or participating in mutual aid,

• bearing witness,

• constitutional observation,

• staying informed, sharing information,

• expressing anger, grief, and moral outrage.
  

This is where we say: This matters. This is not okay.

And then there is the restoration-oriented side.

This is the turning toward life and repair. This is where we rebuild capacity and meaning. It is where we reinvest in living, not by ignoring the loss, but by understanding it now lives inside us and committing to creating a life worth living anyway.

In activism, this can look like...

• rest, sleep,

• nervous system recovery,

• art, song, writing, reading, creative pursuits

• community events,

• dinner with friends and family,

• humor, laughter

• time in nature,

• movement, exercise

• returning to beloved/nostalgic movies and music,

• parenting, working,

• the grocery store runs, the dishes, walking the dog,

• feeling joy (without guilt!!)

  
  

This is not avoidance. This is repair.

We need deeper self-care to sustain the energy required to confront pain again, and we also just need to be in the ordinary, everyday tasks of living without guilt and without our nervous system firing off alarm bells without end.

Oscillation between these two states is what keeps people from collapsing.

• Action without restoration leads to burnout, despair, and eventually shutdown.

• Restoration without action can lead to numbing, disconnection, and guilt.

• Moving between both builds resilience and longevity. It keeps the work human.

• Activism is not linear. It is responsive, adaptive, and constantly reshaping itself as reality shifts.
  

The traps are familiar.

• "If I rest, I must not care enough."

• "If I stop paying attention, I am complicit."

• "I should be able to stay engaged all the time."

  
  

These beliefs confuse constant activation with commitment.

Sustainable resistance does not require a permanently activated nervous system. In fact, the opposite is true. Chronic activation narrows thinking, erodes clarity, and makes long-term engagement harder.

Here is the reframe that helps me.

• Action is how we honor the loss.

• Restoration is how we survive it.
  

Both are necessary. Both are part of activism.

If you're unsure where you are, try a simple check-in.

• "Which mode am I in right now, action or restoration?"

• "Am I avoiding pain, or restoring capacity?"

• "What does my nervous system need next?"
  

Make an honest assessment of your capacity, without judgement. Justice work not demand self-destruction. Ultimately, only you get to decide how much you need to engage and how much you need to restore, and when to move between the two.

Remember this duality...

• You are allowed to fight and rest.

• You are allowed to grieve and feel joy.

• You are allowed to care deeply and step back.

This rhythm is how we build endurance. It is how we learn to move with the waves of grief and outrage instead of letting them drown us. We turn toward the pain. We return to life. And we keep moving forward.